Remember Us, He Said, We Did What We Could
Palestinian men put western men's masculinity to shame.
My eyes won’t stop tearing up.
I can’t take it today, I can’t take one more westernized man demeaning emotions while using his emotions (yep, anger IS an emotion) to humiliate, torture, justify, defend, patronize, ridicule, boast, assert some self-appointed authority over anyone else —women, lgbtq, and especially, for fucks’ sake, Palestinian men.
So the following is my lament and stream of consciousness today…
This morning, I watched Palestinian Ambassador to the United Nations, Riyad Mansour BREAK as he read the words of a doctor, Dr. Mahmour Abu Nujaila, in a desecrated hospital,
“Whoever stays until the end will tell the story. We did what we could. Remember us.”
When does it fucking end? Mm? Men reading this, when does it end? When will you stop? When will you end the violence?
You avoid your own tears, devalue and feminize them, while you elevate anger and violence and participate in the ethnic cleansing of men who call you to account for your inhumanity.
I don’t want to hear, “But Hamas.” There is literally NO ONE else fighting for Palestinian bodies. You’re not.
Their fight, along with the men who shed their emotion, who persist with tenacity, and the ones who stay with patients in hospitals, protect women and children, (who are the 70% of the dead) well, I must say, it goes beyond courage.
They are every underdog movie, that you cheer for and beat your chest. They are the 300, the Last Samurai, Braveheart, the Last of the Mohicans, and countless other radical films you pretend to see yourself in, except you’re not them, you’re the one in the powerful positions —killing them.
What we are witnessing from Palestinian men is both softness and strength playing out at the same time. This, to me, this is a worthy example of what positive masculinity looks like. And they’re doing it while they shed tears.
The Israeli government propagates the men of Gaza as ‘Animals,’ purporting they are all Hamas (and therefore “Hamas = bad” in their story) and so even Palestinian sons are a threat, all while the Israeli Militants are painted as rescuers or heroes (y’all missing the real themes of the Bible, but that’s for another day). And American men you’re ignoring it (if ya haven’t joined up already) and think Joe Rogan is some example of masculinity? ffs, Gross.
I’m over it. Wake up sleepers.
Dehumanizing Palestinians only helps Israelis justify unlawful bombardment, supplied by the violence and dominance anger of American colonization and entitlement.
I get it’s confronting. Palestinian men, the ones surviving are fighting to salvage an entire culture. They are ripping through rubble after airstrikes to save survivors.
They are openly honest about grief. They tell detailed stories. They are not afraid to cry. They are showing the world the truth. They are revealing western evil at its core.
To be held accountable to is to embrace a level of humiliation, it means to commit to reparations, justice, healing and forces a surrender, a negotiation. To be held accountable, to stand corrected means to let go of controlling the narrative and actively accept a terrifying reality. Control feels like safety but it’s not, control, is what drives wars.
Theologian Pete Rollins once said, “War is in the inability to have conflict.” War is the refusal to repair. War is the emotional response of demand, of rightness over relationship.
It must end. Now.
Khaled Nabhan was a grandfather who kissed his favorite girl’s eyes when she was struck by a bomb. What threat was he?
He collected her toys. He let his love live on, he held other children, fed them and hugged them. Then he was killed.
For what?
It hit me hard because I was close to my own grandfather, I felt their precious relationship. However, it goes beyond relatable connections.
I was in Gaza once too. Did you know that? I’ve worked along side Palestinian journalists. I’ve dodged drones and bombs. I’ve broken bread on the land, and savored olives and wine. I’ve witnessed doctors grow weary and written about their struggle. I’ve listened to Palestinian women tell stories and children talk about raids in their home.
I’ve also seen the infection of Zionism —corrupt faith and political discourse. I’ve been in the conversations and seen the wars.
So, frankly, yeh, this feels all too personal.
From a line of naked and hooded men detained in Gaza to the young boys arrested and targeted for throwing rocks at tanks and fully-armed Israelis, to the visible grief of Palestinian men, it is all so damn heavy and it should be.
I will fiercely challenge the narrative: who exactly are the ‘animals’ here? Are these men not innocent? Men are doing this to men, stripping them of the dignity demanded of men in name of what? Power? Mmm.
A man who weeps over another man’s words, as the men of his people are being eliminated is more powerful than any man who kills in the name of land expansion, more powerful than a man who rapes, more powerful than a man with money, more powerful than man who beats his wife or has bigger muscles, more powerful than a man who salivates over fucking dude bro podcasts and takes psychedelics.
Yeh.
And yet, colonizer-influenced men would dare to call empowered indigenous men, rescuers and doctors — terrorists — while destroying their hospitals.
Hospitals are places of birth, life, places of HEALING BODIES.
Ah, but in the west, we don’t value healing or bodies, do we? We value commodity, sale, trade, because we’ve forgotten, we too came from a mother, a womb, most of us born in hospitals, hospitals that now put families in debt, insurance companies who deny life saving surgeries, force feed pills and break the human spirit right along with the body.
I’m tired. Soul tired. And yeh, I’m emotional today. I will not condemn resistance.
Dear Men,
Where the hell are you? Why are you not LOUDER? What do you get out of silence?
I just can’t bare to hear any-more what you think about Gaza’s socio-political complexities (“Well, in Gaza as a woman”). It’s not for you and I don’t care what you think.
Whether the men were part of Hamas leadership, or not; whether they voted for Hamas in 2007, or didn’t, it doesn’t matter because hospitals in particular are a place of healing and are meant to be protected at all costs. There is a mandate for doctors to care for all who come through. Staying with Patients isn’t terrorism.
If you truly have pain you hold in your body about masculinity and the present debate, look to Palestinian men as an example.
As 1940s Holocaust Survivor, Dr. Gabor Maté said, we are watching “Auschwitz on TikTok.”
Genocide stops when American men stop suppling Israeli men with weapons.
Genocide stops when the patriarchal system of colonized west lays down arms, domination culture.
Genocide stops when you weep in your humility and fight like hell for the living, pay reparations for the dead, and stand with resistance.
Genocide stops when you get loud with your demands against violence.
Genocide stops when you face the toxicity in the mirror and take direct action to change the story.
I didn’t weep today because I’m a woman. I wept today because I am human, because I saw a man stand before the world and cry and plead the life of his people.
My tears are not my shame. Condemning tears is the shame of colonized men.
Shame must change sides. (Pelicot)
And we don’t have time to wring our hands anymore. America? Confront your beliefs, change course, humble yourself. Speak up for the men of resistance rather than oppression.
Ash Gallagher is a veteran war journalist turned activist, speaker and writer. To connect with her, to consult or speak at your event, visit ashgallagher.com or email her here.
Featured Poetix by Ash
